A FIC THAT SUCKS
by rankiribe
Summary: Taken from Heppokomaru's diary. One and a quarter day worth of diary. Please review, even though it is not as good as the others.


**A FIC THAT SUCKS**

Seriously.

**Author's Notes**: Well, here's the Boboboubo Boubobo oneshot I mentioned. Be aware that this fic sucks, so please don't flame me. I use Japanese names. So Gasser is Heppokomaru, Jelly Jiggler is Tokoro Tennosuke, and Don Patch is Don Pacchi.

**Disclaimer**: Do I own Boboboubo Boubobo? If I do, why in the hell Tokoro Tennosuke still a jelly?

_Uumm…Diary._

_So. I bought you today. Real. For real. I don't know why. Is it fun writing in a diary? Sorry, I am still a virgin at this._

_Well, my name is Heppokomaru, seventeen years old. We are supposed to spill my deepest secrets in diary right? So here goes: WIMPS GO TO HELL! Really, I just learned that 'go to hell' crap._

_I am currently single and traveling in this world._

_As everyone has known, this world where I live have an evil organization named Maruhage Empire. They took hairs._

_That's right, hairs._

_It hurts if they took the hair from you forcefully, and it is truly not funny if you have to spend a day in school being suddenly bald._

_Well, their leader, and most of their lesser soldiers, is bald, so they don't have to take their own hair. Their leader is named Tsuru Tsurulina by the way. Right now, Tsuru Tsurulina the third is the one who takes over the empire, not the fourth._

_I travel with some friends, which most of them are a Hajikelist. I tell you what Hajikelist is._

_The first, and the strongest at them, is Boboboubo Boubobo. The name's too long to repeat, so we usually just call him Bo-bobo. Notice that the first 'bo' is pronounced longer than the next two. He's strong. At first I thought he just an idiot whose only ability is to become insane. Such insanity (or Hajike, so they say) is what our group is all about. But, beneath that Hajike (which I couldn't stand without getting exasperated, just like Beauty) which they do at almost every occasion, lays one great power which not even I could comprehend. Their weird ways of fighting is hiding one powerful skill. Who's they, you ask? Bo-bobo, Don Pacchi, and Tokoro Tennosuke._

_Don Pacchi is next. He hates me. I hate him. Anyway, his (or whatever gender 'it' is. Seriously, I don't know what the hell IS Don Pacchi) skill at Hajike is next to Bo-bobo-san. That's right, his skill at Hajike is that high. He is the 'King of Hajike', but turn down the title. He is also freakishly strong. Though I cannot remember it, Beauty also says there is his 'stronger' form named Ikarin Pacchi, who is golden and more serious. At any rate, I don't know how Beauty stays in group with Don Pacchi on it without getting annoyed. He is just plain annoying._

_Tokoro Tennosuke. Not a being of muscle and blood. But a being of jelly. That's right, jelly. A tokoroten. He also has some kind of weird obsession with 'nu' hiragana. He's not annoying like Don Pacchi, and as matter-of-factly, he's quite likeable. He's also a Hajikelist, those who Hajike. Bo-bobo-san, Don Pacchi, and him is our group's most wackiest and weirdest (while the funniest at the same time) team. They do Hajike together since they form the **Hajike Trio** at Hajike block. And, despite their weirdness, is the strongest at our team. Mostly because Bo-bobo-san, of course! His most hated being in this whole planet is…tofu. And as an ending note, he also likes to force me and Beauty to eat tokoroten as breakfast._

_Next…is Hatenkou. He's just as annoying as his boss, Don Pacchi, whom he respects as I respect Bo-bobo-san. He is not a strong Hajikelist, at least compared to Bo-bobo-san, but at fighting, he's quite capable, and as much as I hate to say this, he's stronger than me. He uses keys to lock people's hearts, and it's damn effective. He is Gyourai Garu's ex-boyfriend. Let's just say that Gyourai Garu is a…torpedo._

_Softon-san should be next. He is cool guy with a cool outfit, he's also a Hajikelist. One thing I wonder about him is…his head. No, not his intelligence, his HEAD. He has soft serve ice cream for a head. Weird guy, but strong enough. Recently, we know that he is Beauty's brother. Does it mean that Beauty will also gain such weird head later? I hope not._

_Dengaku Man. A cute little being. He's cute, but he's weak. He needs friends, so that's why he is with us._

_Finally, Beauty. She is the only female in our group, except when Gyourai Garu joins us. She's just………I cannot say it with words. I also cannot say that she is the embodiment of beauty or a goddess, as I am not good with such language. Only wimpy womanizer can. I met her when I spied on Bo-bobo-san about his strength. I saved her from a Maruhage commander when Bo-bobo-san and Don Pacchi are busy wrecking another one of Maruhage Empire's bases. At the first glance, well, all I could say that she is cute. Looks like that comment on my first glance of her is what make me love her. Yes, I love her. I love her too much. _

_I feel good after finally saying it. To you. Not to her! _

_Well, this is another day where I have to admire Bo-bobo-san from afar while he's Hajike-ing and another day where I have to think twice whether or not I confess to Beauty. Another day when I have to stop myself before killing Don Pacchi, and another day where Tokoro Tennosuke force me to eat tokoroten as breakfast. The lychee-flavored one._

_Well, yesterday we camped near a lakeside. Pretty much a normal day. A normal day when all Don Pacchi does is hitting Tokoro Tennosuke while Bo-bobo-san is dancing with a tutu accompanied by three tigers whose attire is a tuxedo. Then it all changes when Don Pacchi being his usual 'girly' self and Tokoro Tennosuke wearing a schoolboy outfit while claiming that he's a professor._

_Ah, those days…_

_Well, after I (and Beauty) spent this day having no idea on how could a broken glasses be so heart-breaking for Don Pacchi and how a tofu could pin you to earth and scare the 'bezeejus' out of you, we sleep in sleeping bags. Bo-bobo-san on a tree, wearing wings and tiger face, claiming to be a donkey. I still don't understand why up to this point._

_Well, I awake in the middle of the night, and I, unable to return to sleep, crept pass Tokoro Tennosuke who kiss and kiss his 'Nu' hanky, and go outside._

_To find Beauty._

_She says that she could not sleep either, and so she spends time outside until she gets sleepy or until she can count sheep without imagining Don Pacchi on it. Recently Don Pacchi likes to wear sheep outfit. _

_Seeing that I am on the same position as her, except that when I counting sheep, I could not help imagining the force-fed tokoroten I swallowed today. She laughs at this. _

_Yeah, she's cute. Whenever. Whether it when she smiles, angry, or laughing. The only time where she's not cute is when she's exasperated about the Hajike Trio' Hajike. I never look to her when she's exasperated. How can I look to her while I was thinking how can the squirrels in Bo-bobo-san's afro keeps their relationship after all that bickering. Maybe they should produce a soap opera or something._

_Well, on this strange twist of fate (and a lil bit twist on my stomach, thanks to the tokoroten) we decide that we should chat about…everything._

_It all begins with this simple question: "Since when a soda can can become a master of the Hanage Shinken?"_

_Then it moves to: "Does wearing a schoolgirl outfit helps in battle?"_

_Moving on, to: "What good does an obsession of 'nu' hiragana do to battles?"_

_And then: "Why we only talk about Bo-bobo, Don Pacchi, and Tokoro Tennosuke?"_

_Well, at this time, my conscience says this:_

"_Hey boy! This is your chance! No one could disturb you now! Confess to her!"_

_Well, my conscience is right. There are no one here who could disturb us. It's too close to the border of the country for any Hair Hunters, too late in the night for Bo-bobo-san to come in his tutu._

_But I am not prepared yet. What will happen is she rejects me? What kind of face will I show at morning when I meet her?_

"_If you keep using logic, you never get there! For once, use your instinct! There might not be any more chances like this in the future! Come on! Just confess to her right now! Do it so there won't be any more of those painful feelings on your heart! DO IT!"_

_Well, diary, you know what I do?_

_I confess to her._

_With the word of 'I love you'._

_She didn't even blink._

_Until she answers:_

"_I like someone already…So I can't…"_

_It was enough. If I am a cartoon character, I would be pictured as a statue that shatters slowly, just like how my heart shattered because of this rejection. Summoning the last of my courage, I ask her, who did she like? I thought that if she likes Bo-bobo-san, I have no need for worry, as Bo-bobo-san will protect her._

"_Uuummm…Suzu-chan…"_

_Shock. Yeah. If I am a cartoon character, I would be pictured as having eye so round and so big right now. I just cannot believe my ears. Suzu is a girl. That means Beauty, who is a girl, like another girl, which means…YURI?_

_Then I jerked up from my bed. Yes diary, it was all a dream. I live in a big house. I am already a father. For some reason, I cannot remember who my wife is. I'll remember when I see her._

_Then she calls me. With 'darling' before her words. I go down. Then I see him. Yeah, HIM. Bo-bobo-san wearing nothing but an apron. I screamed._

_Then I jerked from my sleeping bag. I look around. I am still a boy with my usual clothing. I look around and I am sure that I am inside a camp, with Beauty on my side._

_Weird. Dream inside a dream. If this story were to be published, many will not like it because it sounds like rushed plotlines with no borders within absurdism and logic._

_At least now I haven't confessed yet, and I have no plans to. I do not want to know that Beauty is a lesbian._

_Well, because I awake with such loud voice and sweated all over, Beauty asks me what happen. And I answer exactly the same as this:_

"_Just a dream. I dream that you were a lesbian after I confessed to you that I love you , then I woke up and find that Bo-bobo-san is my wife. A dream inside a dream. Really weird, huh?"_

_When I said that Bo-bobo-san is my wife, I say it in a joking tone. I need a good laugh after all. _

_But she doesn't laugh. She doesn't even smirk a little. Her eyes show that she had realized something._

_Then it strikes me. I had confessed to her. Without preparation. I don't even prepare my heart if she rejects me. I don't even prepare my expression when she rejects me. I don't even prepare my stomach when I will be force-fed another tokoroten this morning…I don't make any sense, do I?_

_Well, after she realizes that I realize what she realize, she decided to keep her silence and go to sleep. That's also what I do, but I cannot get to sleep at all._

_This morning she didn't even talk to me. She refuses to even get close to me. And Tokoro Tennosuke still has his tokoroten to be force-fed to me, but this time it's mango-flavored. It's a bit sweeter. And by the looks of it, me and Beauty still don't understand why does Bo-bobo-san has to wear a bunny outfit to kill a weasel that does nothing but sending an air mail that is gelatinous to Tokoro Tennosuke who claimed that it was from his girlfriend._

_Well, up to this point, Beauty still refuses to talk to me, and I feel talking about all this to my friends will result in: _

_Bo-bobo-san wearing a tutu._

_Don Pacchi eating a banana after claiming that it was orange and orange contains calcium._

_Tokoro Tennosuke force-fed me a tokoroten._

_Softon-san kills me as he is overprotective to his sister._

_Hatenkou do nothing. He has enough with shattered relationship._

_I cannot find Dengaku Man, so I guess that's all. _

_Well, diary, you are the only one who could listen to what I say without wearing a tutu or force-fed me a tokoroten. So I guess this is all for today. I write a lot for one and a quarter day. I should write tomorrow._

_I decided to write again. Beauty talks to me! She says she loves me too! Yeah! So we love each other! Yes! Beauty is not a lesbian and I am not a homo! Cool!_

_Well diary, by the time I am writing this, we just about to go to Hair Kingdom to finish business with Bo-bobo-san's brother, Bibibi-bi Bi-bibi, and me and Beauty are now a couple! Man, I never feel so happy!_

**Author's Notes**: I never know I could write this much for a chapter. Well, the oneshot ends here. Hajike means Wiggin' Out in the dubbed version. Please review, even though I know this fic is not as good as the others out there.


End file.
